Running the numbers, and I’m running out
Faced with my failures, closer with every round
Cutting the corners, but it’s death by papercuts
If I asked you, would you help me get back up
There’s a whole lot of shit that I’m not sure about
I could use your love while I’m workin it out
But I didn’t call you so many times there’s too much doubt
What am I doing
What if I’ve let you down
What am I losing
What would you think of me now
So this is my burden, this is my compromise
Been leaving out details, leaning on little lies
Imagining judgement everywhere I go
Feeding the demon, then pushing it deep below
So I pick up my check and I sneak out the back
Try to hide from the shame of the things that I lack
But pen hits the paper so many times and you can’t go back
What am I doing
What if I’ve let you down
What am I losing
What would you think of me now
It isn’t the choice, it’s the reason I made it
I should have been strong like the man you raised me to be
And I feel the weakness that runs through my bones and I hate it
And I don’t ever want you to see
What am I doing
What if I’ve let you down
What am I losing
What would you think of me now
Ooh, ooh...
credits
from Son of the Hills,
track released July 24, 2020
Music and lyrics by Ben Greenberg and Jordan Ruiz
Vocals, guitars - Ben Greenberg
Guitars, drums, bass, banjo, piano, backing vocals - Jordan Ruiz
Cello - Jane Kim
Produced by Jordan Ruiz
Mastered by Joe Hutchinson
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